This is not a NEWSLETTER, Par this is a letter for sure which has 1 bit of news. The News is that our Son Hargun has moved to US for his Higher Studies. And iss letter mein I just tell him to become better Human being, Because sabse zaroori wohi hai.
While I typed this, my Keyboard was covered in tears. Pata tha ki this is going to happe, par Dil mein itna khaalipan aa jayega, yeh nahi pata tha.
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Issue 21 | 26th August 2023
Dear Son Hargun,
Let me start by saying that I did not think I would miss you as much as I’m doing now.
Pata to tha that you shall Fly the Nest, par only when you left that we felt how empty the nest has become and somehow Deep within I can sense, it will remain the same for most of the time.
While I write this, I do not wish any other way for you because I know this is best for you. And what’s best for you is Best for your Parents and your Sister.
Deep within, I did wish that your University be closer. 1 Hour Drive, 3 Hours Drive, 2 Hours Flight, 5 Hours Flight. 8 hours flight! But again, you chose to be a 16 Hours Flight, 12000 Kilometres away. As my Jhaiji would say, “Saat Samundar Paar”.
Since your Birth, you have done nothing ordinary, then how could your Education be? You aimed for the best and ensured to get the best, Most of all by yourself.
Par kehte hai na, “Every Giant leap starts with one Small Step”, So this is your Small step.
And I hope this turns out to be your Neil Armstrong Moment. (Also, a Purdue Alumni, A fellow Boiler Maker from 1947). The first man to walk on the Moon. He said, “One Small Step for a Man, One Giant leap for Mankind.”
Beta Life Uncertain hai, Life Evolving hai. Life Easy bhi hai, Life Tough bhi hai. What matters is how you handle it.
Since Birth, I have shared lots of my Knowledge and Experience with you. Shayad suna sunakar Bore bhi kiya. Last 4-5 saalo mein zyada tang kiya hoga.
Meri Jhaiji kehti thi ki “Amle ka Khaaya, aur Burre ka Kahaa baad mein kaam aata hai”
Mujhe to aaya. I wish you also keep all this in your subconscious and jab aapko jiski zaroorat parre, pull that out of your Hat and Create Magic.
Magic Will happen.
I could go on with my thoughts. Lots to talk about and share, especially now when you are not here in the next room making Shor Din aur Raat while solving Rubik’s Cube.
Par, let me make it easy for you in Pointers.
There is nothing new in this for you. Par Just sharing it so that you have it with you when you need it the most. Please read it every First Sunday of the month.
All this is from my Learning, Experiences, Knowledge and Observations.
Adjust, Adapt, Understand – You are in a New World with new people. This will require you to Adjust with Them, Adapt to the Changes in your Surroundings, Understand this new Phase and Think and act accordingly. “Thora Mushkil hai par yeh aapki Zindagi ko bahut Asaan bana dega”
Respect one & All – Every Human being Deserves Respect irrespective of their Wealth, Health, Education, Gender, Earning, Social Standing, Lineage, Profession, Colour, Caste or Creed. Never Forget. This one is significant as you have now stepped into a GLOBAL VILLAGE.
Smile often – “A Smile is a Curve that sets many things Straight”. When I was your age, I read this somewhere and noted it in my Diary. Nothing can be more accurate. Try Smiling More, and after a Time, you dont have to try too hard for it, It becomes part of Your DNA. Unknowingly you will make so many people smile, and shayad kuch logo ke liye will be the only moment they will get to smile for the day.
Study: At the University, you would be doing many things Par remember you are there to Study. Keep the other Attractions & DIstractions from shifting your focus. “Sab Zaroori hai, par Studies ke bagair baaki sab mehnat Adhoori hai”
FIT hai to HIT hai : Yes, ironical of this coming from me. Par Fitness bahut Zaroori hai. Thankfully, your Univeristy Gym is 100 Steps from Your Hostel. Par then so is your Dining hall. Shayad aapko dekhkar mein bhi inspire ho jaau.
Solve & Resolve : Problem ka ilaaj nikalo, Us Se Door na Bhaago. The more you try to run away from the Problem, the more you Run away from the Solution. If you focus hard enough, then jaise aap Rubiks Cube 8 Seconds mein Solve karte ho, waise baaki problems ka bhi Solution Chutki bajate hi aa jayega.
Problems are momentary: Today’s problem could be a story you will happily narrate multiple times tomorrow.
Love Life: At this age, Infatuation, Attraction, and Love – everything happens more often, more so in University. Keep embracing them. However, please note that the end of a relationship isn’t the end of life. Take it as the beginning of a new life and, more often than not, a better life.
Don’t Blame, Don’t B-lame: Only you shall be responsible for your actions. So don’t take decisions based only on someone else’s advice. Talk, Think, and act with full responsibility for your actions. If you fail, introspect and try again; if you succeed, pat yourself on the back! But never, ever blame someone else for their advice and your actions. This might become a tendency if you don’t check in on time.
Keep Evolving – Times Change Beta jee. We have come a long way from my Audio tape world to today’s Digital Music World. Keep Evolving, Keep learning. Times will change, and those who dont are left behind. Take CoViD 19 as one example. Sab kuch badal diya tha usne.
People around you: Be careful of the people around you because they shape the future you. Don’t mix with only one set of people because the more people you meet, the more insights you get and see how VARIED the world is, its people and their views.
Become a median/bridge: Some people have resources (knowledge, money, time, experience), and others need them. Both need giving and taking, respectively. However, they can’t connect. Try to become a bridge between them. Both will thank you. Moreover, you will thank them for giving you the opportunity.
Happiness: Often, happiness is equated with economic success. However, real success is about being happy. Happiness can be drawn from anywhere. Financial success isn’t bad, but don’t let only that gauge your success. The best parameter of success is happiness. Ask yourself, “Am I happy?” and then walk towards greater happiness.
Comfort zone: Keep doing something which you have never done before. Keep doing something which you were afraid of doing. Every time I’ve gone outside my comfort zone, it has been like a whiff of fresh air on my face. I’ve never looked back on my comfort zone.
Never worry: 97% (My Experience @ 45) of our worries are baseless. However, those worries take up so much of the mind space that it restricts us from blooming happily. Chinta, Chita ke samaan hai.
If luck doesn’t favour you, hard work will: Experienced Formula.
Have lots of hobbies: Hobbies could be anything. These hobbies would give you a mental break from your life and a sense of achievement in making yourself happy. PS: Reading on your phone or playing games aren’t hobbies.
Believe in Miracles: Miracles do happen every day. If you want them to happen to you, start believing in them.
Forgive and forget – Don’t keep Grudges, It is like termites. They eat you from the inside.
Travel: The more you travel, the more you unravel. No spa in the world makes you fresher than travelling. It widens your horizon and lets you appreciate life. And yes, it helps you learn more as well. Now you are in a New Country, With new Friends—Sab kuch naya hoga.
Make a Personal Brand: Do things that people remember you. Do Kuch extra. If everybody’s good at Studies, then you do your bit in Sports, Poetry, Dramatics, Stand-up comedy Etc. Whatever makes you happy. Do something; go somewhere where the crowd is less, and you and your qualities stand out. Like you did with Rubiks Cube. Your name Stands out, too, Hargun Singh Tikku. 10 years back, I wrote, “If you are not Outstanding, then Stand out, Today I rewrite it, Even if you are outstanding, then too Stand out.
No learning goes waste: No learning goes waste. It always remains in your subconscious mind and comes when you need it the most. And, most of all, it helps you become a better person. So Yearn to Learn.
Religion: Only religion you need to follow is that of humanity; everything else is secondary. Be a good human. That is all that matters.
Imagine, visualise the Future: Sometimes, look back and see how things have evolved, then take cues on how the future would be. Sometimes Imagination is more Important than Knowledge.
Keep Trying: Never stop trying. There are multiple ways to reach a destination and do something. If you don’t succeed in one form on your first attempt, use the lesson learnt from it to try another way. Keep trying till it works out or till it is not attractive any more Yaad hai na Mummy ne bachpan se kya sikhaya hai “Try karne se Sab kuch ho jaata hai”
Give Happiness, Give An Ear, Give a Smile, Give a Helping hand, Give lessons, Give Time. – We as Humans are taught to TAKE. My Son I changed my life 11 years back when I realised that life is more about Giving then taking. De woh hi sakta hai jiske paas kuch hoga. “Poori Zindagi Guzaar di Khushiyaan batorne mein, Baad mein pata chala ki khush to woh the jo Khushiyaan baant rahe the”. Yeh asaani se samajh nahi ayega, Jab ayega tab humesha saath rahega.
Today is the 15th of August, Our Independence Day, a Day when India became Independent. Also, the day when your Great Grand Parents left all they had back in Peshawar, Now in Pakistan, to start a New Life in India. Today is when Mummy will meet you at the University for the last time before coming back Ghar. Aaj se, You Step into a world jahaan your Parents will not be with you Physically. Aaj se you’re Independent, Use this Independence, WISELY, FULLY, RESPONSIBLY.
We Love you, and We are Proud of you, HARGUN. Just take care of yourself, We want nothing more from you 🙂