Tikku @ 38 calling Tikku @ 18
Today I turn 38 and have to say it has been 38 beautiful years which gave me enough Reasons to Smile and Cry at the same time.
There have been times when I cried more than I smiled. But today when I look back, I realise that Smile and Cry or being Happy or being Sad are emotions where the environment OUTSIDE us does matter. But what matters more is environment INSIDE us.
Today, I Tikku at 38, makes an Effort to talk to Tikku at 18 and share some of my Experiences & Learning’s. Had I known about these lessons earlier, I would have Struggled a bit less, made a little Less Mistakes, would have Smiled a bit more and would have understood that Giving is better than taking and how believing in your own self is important at much earlier age.
Have tried to put down 38 points that would make Tikku @ 18 happy like Tikku@38. Would appreciate that after reading yourself, You make your Younger Siblings and your Children read it too. They need it a lot more and would understand it asaan se as they are not Hard Conditioned like elders.
Love Life: at this age infatuation, attraction, and love – everything happens. Keep embracing them as they come to get you. The end of a relationship isn’t the end of your life. Take it as the beginning of a new life and, more often than not, a better life.
Family: Respect your family and understand them. If they say no to something you want, then it does not mean that they don’t want you to do it. It might mean that work/travel involves some risk and they fear that you might get into trouble. However, the ONLY thing your parents want is your happiness. If you try to sit down and explain to them WHY you want to do it and how their fears might be just imagination, they might understand your point of view. Believe me, doing something contrary by taking them into confidence is much easier, and better than rebelling against them. If you rebel, the possibility of success is very less.
Don’t Blame, Don’t B-lame: For each of your actions, only you shall be responsible for it. So don’t take decisions based only on someone else’s advice. Talk, think, and act with full responsibility for your actions. If you fail, introspect and try again; if you succeed, pat yourself on the back! But never, ever blame someone else for their advice and your own actions. This might become a tendency if you don’t check it.
Keep Learning: Keep learning till your heart breaks. In 1996 I stayed the night at a friend’s Dadajee’s house, who was 92 years old. His routine was to get up in the wee hours of the morning and get ready for the day. Then he sat at a well-lit corner of the house with the newspaper and a dictionary, and kept looking for new words in newspaper and then its meaning in the dictionary. He made me sit up and take notice that when he can learn at his RIPE old age, why can’t we at a much younger age?
People around you: Be careful of the people around you, because they shape the future you. Don’t mix with only one set of people, because the more people you meet the more insights you get and see how VARIED the world is, its people, and their views.
Become a median/bridge: There are people who have resources (knowledge, money, time, experience) and there are people who need it. Both are in need of giving and taking, respectively. However, they can’t connect with each other. Try to become a bridge between them. Both will thank you. Moreover, you will thank them for giving you the opportunity.
Happiness: Often, happiness is equated with economic success. However, real success is about being happy. Happiness can be drawn from anywhere. Economic success isn’t a bad thing, but don’t let only that gauge your success. The best parameter of success is happiness. Keep asking yourself, “Am I happy?”, and then walk the path that leads to greater happiness.
Comfort zone: Keep doing something which you have never done before. Keep doing something which you were afraid of doing. Every time I’ve gone outside my comfort zone, it has been like a whiff of fresh air on my face. I’ve never looked back on my comfort zone.
Problems are momentary: Today’s problem could be a story you will happily narrate multiple times tomorrow.
Never worry: 97% (My Experience @ 37) of our worries are baseless. However, those worries take so much of our mind space that it restricts us from blooming happily.
Don’t surrender: We often surrender to people and things we love. In the process, we kill a bit of ourselves. It isn’t bad to rebel against something if you believe in it. In cricket, for example, captain may guide the batsman to play cautiously so that he doesn’t get out. However, if the batsman is delivered a ball which he can surely get a six out of, he just has to do it. We all get such opportunities in life, when we know we’ll score a six if we hit the ball, but we don’t hit it either for some issues or because we keep looking at the ball too long. In both cases, we fail.
Everything happens for good: Always. Mostly we can’t place a finger on the good or we’re too busy. But it happens.
If luck doesn’t favour you, hard work will : Experienced Formula
Facts: Believe in facts. Not in some people’s opinions.
Heart: You do know that people recover after brain hemorrhage and live despite brain issues. But have you seen a person revived after his heart stops working? All our life we’re groomed to focus on the mind, become intelligent, study a lot. A lot less focus is left for making a good human being out of us.
Vocational learning: I wasn’t a good student. Average marks, bad handwriting, no sports or activities. However, I loved to read and read every issue of India Today and Business World from cover to cover when I was in school, till some years later. That helped me grow my vocabulary. I saw shows of and listened to Parannoy Roy, Rajdeep SArdesai, Raghav Bahl, and many others, and all that helped me speak better. My happiness knew.
Have lots of hobbies: Hobbies could be anything. These hobbies would not only give a mental break from your life, but also give you a sense of achievement in making yourself happy. Reading on your phone or playing games don’t qualify as hobbies.
It’s never too late to evolve: One person whom I’ve never met, but has inspired me greatly is the cricketer, politician, commentator, comedy show judge all rolled into one – Navjot Singh Siddhu. After retiring as a world-class cricketer he became a commentator, something that most cricketers do. What set him apart were his style and his choice of words. From an outstanding cricketer he became an outstanding commentator. Along the journey he became the judge of a comedy show. Such was his presence that the audience wanted to see Siddhu more than the on-stage comedian himself. While this was on, he became a politician. Not a small-time politician, but a Member of Parliament from the holy city of Amritsar. He rocked the parliament with his speeches! The point I’m trying to make here is that one need to keep evolving and none of that should be a half-hearted effort.
Believe in Miracles: Miracles do happen, everyday. If you want them to happen to you, start believing in them.
Every story has two sides – So just don’t jump on seeing, Reading, hearing something. Because sometimes those knee jerk reactions may be irreversible.
Not taking a decision is also a decision: Yes, Sometimes it is. So if you are confused and can’t find a solution, take a Decision to not take a Decision.
Forgive and forget – Don’t keep Grudges, It is like termite they eat you from inside
Understand what your Inner Intelligence/Swabhav says – This cannot be explained in a few sentences can talk on this for hours. Bas matlab Samajh lo jee
Exercise: Exercise and keep yourself fit. It improves your productivity, health, confidence. You easily get clothes of your size and are also able to get hitched easily J
Travel: The more you travel, the more you unravel. No spa in the world makes you fresher than travelling. It widens your horizon and lets you appreciate life. And yes, it helps you learn more as well.
Never be in awe of anyone: This is for two reasons. Firstly, people who you idolize today might change tomorrow and this will break you at times. Secondly, the other person is as human as you are. If you remain in awe, then you might never see the other side of him that has made him worthy of your appreciation. Celebrities and accomplished people don’t only want to listen to the fact that you’re their fan (one in every thousand fans says so); they might also want to hear something about themselves which others haven’t said. In some cases, even criticism, a different point of view, or talking about yourself rather than them matter.
If you’re not outstanding, then stand out: Simply said, if everybody’s good in studies, then you do your bit in sports, poetry, dramatics, stand-up comedy, and drumming. Do something; go someplace where the crowd is less and you, and your qualities, stand out. Small example here: I was one of lakhs with the name ‘Gurpreet Singh’, but ‘Gurpreet Singh Tikku’ made me stand out as one in billions. Once you get to its depths, you might unearth some pearls.
Accept the fact that some things may not work: Every coin has two sides and so has life. Some times may be good, some times may be tough. Accept both of them with grace and you’ll have less regrets in life.
No learning goes waste: No learning goes waste. It always remains in your sub-conscious mind and comes at the time when you might need it the most. And, most of all, it helps you become a better person. So yearn to learn.
Religion: Only religion you need to follow is that of humanity, everything else is secondary. Be a good human.
Imagine, visualise the Future: Sometimes look back and see how things have evolved, then take cues on how the future would be.
Don’t hesitate to learn from anything or anyone: For a long time, I only learned from people who were respected, people who were rich, people who were educated. However, the moment I realized that there is so much learning from every person or things around, it changed my life for the better.
Catch ‘em young: When you see a promising product, service, or person, then get associated it with early.
Keep Trying: Never stop trying. There are multiple ways to reach a destination, and many ways to do something. If you don’t succeed in one way in your first attempt, then use the lesson learnt from it to try in some other way. Keep trying till it works out or till it is not attractive any more.
Give people benefit of doubt: Whenever an action by somebody disturbs you, give him the benefit of doubt. If he is indeed not at all wrong, then this helps you in sustaining the relationship; even if he has done it intentionally, at least it gives you peace of mind. Have done it numerous times and, in both the cases, it has proved to be the right way.
Talk – it keeps the misunderstandings away.
Food: Feel what you eat. Smell what you eat. Appreciate every aspect of every bite 🙂
Never rely on your past laurels: In my life, I have seen many people who have a great past, but with changing times they did not change themselves. Due to that they became frustrated with themselves and bothered people around them also. So keep finding new pastures, never be rigid about not adopting new technologies and new mindsets. 🙂
Tikku at 18, This is my learnings, You may add yours to them because You know your self better, You know your Strengths and Areas of Improvement. We Live in a fast changing world, but the basic lessons I have shared will remain the same and let no one makes you believe in any thing else 🙂